Every January I think about money and budgeting: how much I need for travel, books, and camping goodies. How much can I save? Of course there is never enough money for everything. No matter what a person earns, there is never enough. Having some makes us want more. Having lots makes us want lots more. This phenomena must be a law of the universe. Otherwise extremely wealthy people would stop working and just enjoy.

I drove by a local bank yesterday and the sign was flashing, “Try our Online Banking”. For one silly moment I imagined online banking to be like online dating. With online dating, you sign in,  review hundreds of photos, and select the ones who look interesting, intelligent, and not too shop worn. Maybe you get a date.

Now, imagine logging onto the online banking website and  reviewing all the bank accounts. You shop for the one you want. You might say, “This one is too small” or “this one is overdrawn” and continue to search for your perfect account.  Now, I would not be greedy and go for Bill Gate’s or Warren Buffet’s account. My ideal bank account would  reflect only affluence, say an income of $200,000 a year. It would have more deposits than withdrawals and be attached to a large savings account with high interest.

That’s it! My needs are not extreme,  Its not like I go to Vegas and blow money. I cover the bills and buy groceries. I give to charity. I am a good citizen, although last year I spaced out registering the van. I just need a bigger bank account for travel and hobbies. This is America, why can’t I choose the account I want?

Now some people solve this problem by finding a person who also has the bank account. That option has never appealed to me…what would I do with the guy?  Really! He would just thwart my self-centered lifestyle and demand attention and affection.I would most likely have to cook for him and do the laundry.

I just want to find the perfect bank account, unencumbered by relationships. Isn’t there an E-Banking with the success rate of E-Harmony? Somewhere?